Happy hearts make happy images!

When we shot this family session last weekend, we were constantly battling the cold, wind, rain and oddly, some stray rays of sunshine! The entire session was a technical challenge (to put it mildly)...but the family was PURE GOLD! We simply adored how this family interacted with one another. The children were true friends, laughing and playing together. Mom and Dad were busy, but clearly so delighted with the family they were blessed to share.

This is not the most "frame worthy" image, but I love the story it tells: a couple who has each other's back and are together busy in all directions loving their kids and managing the busy life swirling around them!

We had a fun time searching for beautiful backdrops--which we were quite pleased with the offerings of Denison University. With the fall colors in full bloom and happy hearts, you'd never know the weather was a bit of a challenge!! :)

A precious soon-to-be 4 year old!

When our session was over (as determined by the youngest member ;)) we truly didn't want to say goodbye! Maybe we can get together again sometime! I know my kids would love these three!

Finding ourselves in the middle of a moment

A miracle of God is recorded for us in the Bible: God held back the overflowing Jordan river so that the people could cross on dry ground. This was pretty incredible given that it was the harvest season and the river was overflowing its banks. Once all the people passed through this special "way" that God had made, He instructed them to set up a stone memorial where they would camp that night. (Which was on the other side of the river--only possible because of God's hand in their lives!) He gave them particular instructions about how to build it and then told them,

"In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' ⁷tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." (Joshua 4:6&7)

This past weekend we were able to set up our own memorial to testify to the hand of God in our lives. Due to some ridiculously extreme circumstances that I will spare my audience, our son's grave had not yet been marked. I can see now, looking back, that this was the best way. In most situations following a death, the funeral home will order and set the memorial stone for your loved one and you go visit it when it is complete. Due to these bizarre happenings, this was not how it worked for us. Nearly 3 years later, we found ourselves on a gorgeous fall day setting our beloved Oskar's memorial stone. We had tried multiple times in the past to do this task, each time with plenty of others to help us do the job. This time however, it was just us--alone. The five of us who endured this tragedy--plus the newest little member asleep in the van. This became incredibly significant as we found ourselves in the middle of a moment. The importance of this moment became more and more obvious as we watched our children take part in what had to be done. The cleaning off of the footer. The lifting of the base and memorial stone from the van's trunk. The placement of the lead spacers. The rolling of the sealant between tiny fingers. We worked together at the task and we savored one another's presence. Our beloved family member was buried here, and we were working to mark it. As we lifted, sealed and straightened our child's stone, we treasured the moment in our heart.

I felt moved by God to tell my children about the above example of God having Joshua set up a memorial stone to tell others about what He had done for them. "This is the same. We have been allowed this terrible tragedy in our lives. We don't understand it. We hurt. We miss Oskar. But we know that it is good. God is good and He has a plan. Soon enough, we will be done with this earthly life and we will be with Oskar forever and all our pain will be no more.

But for now, we set up this stone to say, "look what God did in our lives--He is good."

When the task was complete, we stood as a family joined hand in hand and once again prayed at Oskar's grave site. We acknowledge our pain, but trust God to heal us...and He has, and we know He will continue to heal. Our children each had their own responses to this visit: one with quiet tears rolling down cheeks, another walking from grave to grave finding interesting facts, and yet another trying to understand this brother he had that he never knew. I scratched my wedding rings from the weight of the stones, but Brian's response reflected my own: what a better reason!

The verse on the front of his stone echoes the words the Lord whispered to my heart in the deepest moment I have ever experienced: driving away from the hospital where I had given birth--empty armed. Never have I felt such sadness, such despair. And it was in that moment that God spoke those words to my heart as plain as day: JOY COMES IN THE MORNING. I found it later that day in the Psalms.

The back shares a prayer of perspective with all those who come to grieve at the cemetery. I found this quoted in A Mother's Grief Observed and was taken from a missionary's funeral. As I would visit his grave in the weeks and months following his shocking death, I realized that what people inscribe on these stones is powerful. Some are incredibly stupid and others hold out the hope of Truth like a cup of water in a desert. I wanted Oskar's stone to be a beacon of hope in a land of the grieving.

We accept this pain that God has entrusted into our lives as a gift from Him. We no more like it than anyone else, but we have seen such tremendous GOOD come from it. The very existence of Silver Sand Images stems from the tragedy of our son. And we continue to share about the beauty of life and the freedom we know through the love of Christ Himself. Amen and amen.

Oh Baby!! Get focused, Mommy!

After being so focused on photography, the business and all that it entails, I was stressed. I found myself glued to our mac constantly working on some project. Meanwhile, my near four year old son and baby daughter were playing around me and asking, "Did you hear me Mommy? I said I'm a T-Rex dinosaur!" I found myself too stressed, busy and focused to stop and play. Brian reminded me, "You are a Mommy who happens to be a photographer, not a photographer who happens to be a Mommy. Every day that you push them aside for "work" you forever lose with them. Don't let them grow up remembering you as glued to the computer!"

I was in tears. He was right! I had somehow allowed the business to get in front of my main task!

I took the next day and played tractors in the Playdoh, cooed with my baby on the floor and got absolutely nothing done. It felt marvelous!!! Obviously I cannot always do that, but I want to be known to my four children as a Mommy who plays and laughs and has time for them, not what I have developed into!!

This is the little delight of my life...our sweet baby we often call "DQ." She has brought more joy to my heart than I ever knew possible...so much so that I didn't even notice that she was colicky until that was the diagnosis given to her at the hospital last week! (...and actually, she's doing much better!)

We took an array of 190 shots in about a 10 minute time frame! All of them are THIS CUTE!! I find myself joining my clients wondering, "How will I ever choose?!" Guess that's good, now I can relate! ;)

Lord help us as we...collect the beauty of every soul...

Here's a prayer I have found that truly captures the essence of what we love to do, and leaning on God Himself to do it through us:

The Photographer's Prayer

Oh God, as I bring my subject into focus and prepare to make each portrait,
never let me forget that I'm creating treasures for some family, a
keepsake for loved ones. Make me sensitive to the qualities and virtues
of others, that I may draw out into the light the beautiful radiant belongings
of their hearts.
Help me to be an artist, collecting the beauty of every soul, the glow of youth,
the gentleness, the laughter or tears of each life that is precious in Thy sight.
Deeper than a means of livelihood, give me the perspective to see my
photographer's art as a service to others, making life richer and more
memorable.
And, dear Lord, between the lights and shadows, the ups and downs and the
rolling years, keep me from getting out of focus or off center, so that my life
and work may be framed with dignity and colored with contentment ...

AMEN
Author Unknown

School picture time!

It goes against the very art in me to have my kid sit down and say "cheese." So we do it for the yearbook, but then we do our own "school pictures" at home. Here are a few of this year's poses:

My darling 4th grader

My sweet 2nd grader

My "homeschooled" preschooler:

Be still my heart!

The photographer "gets it!"

There has been so much going on in our personal lives that at times I wonder if I am still sane. From 3 emergency room trips, two surgeries, a broken arm, a near fire and most recently a scare that our littlest one needed a surgery we have been spinning so fast it has been hard to keep focused! I realize this is my photography blog, but I also realize that as a photographer and one who "captures character" I am changed by all that has happened. I feel all the more URGENCY to treasure life. I have seen countless times this summer/fall that life is just as the Bible says, "a mere breath" and that time passes quicker than any of us wishes. Psalm 39 verse 5 says it well:

"You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.” (New Living Translation)

and I really think it is hysterical in the Message! Get a load of this:

"...Oh! we're all puffs of air.
Oh! we're all shadows in a campfire.
Oh! we're just spit in the wind.
We make our pile, and then we leave it."

Most of our readers know that we have grieved the deaths of three of our children. After this summer we have truly walked into each situation believing we were losing another member of our family. Each time, God has graciously answered our prayers and restored him or her to us. (Please understand that I do not believe that if we do not get our way in prayer that it equals that God did not answer...it is a matter of our limited sight.) For this reason, we believe we are rescued for a PURPOSE.

For ages, our family has been called to serve overseas. We continually seek where, when and how we are going to have this opportunity. And as we process life, read God's Word (the Bible), pray, talk with others and read good books, we see that we must live life NOW for the very best. We do not know when our time will come to leave our nation and serve somewhere else, so in the meantime we must serve here. We have made personal choices to be serving now and it is wonderful.

One of the events of the summer caused me to fear my own life was over. As we rushed off the the emergency room, I felt a sense of awe/shock, "that is all I did in 37 years?!?!?" Coming through this experience (turns out I didn't die! :)) I realize all the more that I must live in such a way that EACH DAY counts. EACH DAY MUST MATTER. See that verse up there? I am just a puff in the wind. HOWEVER, I can be a puff that impacts the world for good. I can use my limited time in a strategic way that will make a difference in other people's lives. So what if I never write a book, become a famous speaker or even make it overseas? The time is NOW, the people are HERE and I have something to SHARE!!!

(What I have to share is news that this life is NOT all there is. We are not left hopeless in a depressing state. Although I totally admit that life can be difficult, depressing, hard and treacherous, there is hope. God has given us a way out. He has made a way through. He created us, loves us and will not leave us in our sinful state! Jesus is a real person who lived 2,000 years ago and He was perfect. He was God's Son, as crazy as that sounds. He died a criminal's death punishment because He knew that His perfect blood would cover our sinfulness. (This is really weird, but God declares that without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins! This was commonly understood back in the days of animal sacrifice and is understood well in other cultures!) He died and went to hell in our place. Then, He conquered death by coming back to life! (That's Easter!) He lives forever now in Heaven and will take us each there when we die if we accept His death in our place. And that's the GOOD NEWS!! There is more! You don't have to be depressed! You don't have to feel like you are on a treadmill of daily life! There is an adventure to be lived, and God is calling you!)

So you may wonder (if you are still reading this!) what in the world does this have to do with photography? I believe it has everything to do with it! When you understand the preciousness of life, the gift of life and the brevity of life, you can better understand how critical it is to savor the NOW. Your beloved children, niece, nephew, grandchildren are little now. You will blink and they'll be grown. (My own baby is 9 1/2!!) Capturing them now is not only a blast but will bring great joy to you in the future. We do not know how long we have with out beloved family members, and so I seek to make portraits of people being themselves, enjoying life and sharing relationship. When you invest in portrait session, you can be assured that you will come away with treasures forever because as a photographer, I "get" life!